No apologies. Just organizing against patriarchy.

Oh ok. So, men who feel hurt and intimidated when you yell at them for sexist practices should simply take it.

However, if they try to avoid making a mistake and ask you if something is okay in order to avoid getting screamed at and called a sexist, they are using you as a “token.”

Tell me, is there anything men can do to fight their sexist tendencies?

Does making a guy cry and feel like crap advance the feminist movement? Especially if he is someone who is TRYING not to be feminist.

How is it productive to scream and yell at someone who is trying very hard to not be sexist?

Do we inch closer to an oppression free world by simply making the men feel like crap, and in some cases, driving less advanced men away from the movement entirely?

What is our goal? A world without oppression, or making the few men who share this goal feel like shit, and then feeling “empowered” by having harmed them.

You said, “It would follow logically that [men] would know better than anyone what method would be most effective in changing him or at least teaching him.” The way that you have gone about framing this point is fundamentally incorrect. It is true that you probably do know best how you like for someone else to give you criticism. It is also likewise true that men probaby do have insights into how to best reach men about patriarchy that womyn don’t . HOWEVER, because we are talking about calling out patriarchy and oppression (as opposed to criticizing your sculpting technique or something) we must be very conscious of the issue of responsibility. So, while some womyn may choose to call men out in certain ways either out of courtesy or strategy, it is ultimately NOT the responsibility of women to present their criticism of partiarchy in a way that is tailored to fit the way men will receive it. It IS the responsibility of men to do their utmost to work on RECEIVEING womyn’s criticisms of our patriarchal behaviors as best we can in whatever way they present it to us. Womyn have been made to toil to meet the needs of men for much of recorded history. I think we (men) can make the effort to meet womyn where they’re at on this one. If anything, it is the responsibility of other men to step in when they see a man ‘not receiving’ criticism of his patriarchal behavior and to help him ‘receive’ it.

You said, “I am so sorry that you feel the world is out to get you. That is called paranoia.” This is classic invalidation of womyn’s perspectives. There isn’t need to explain how fucked up this is. Look up the origins of the word “hysterical.”

You said, “You are in effect creating a Matriarchy…. you have become what you seek to destroy.” Classic crap argument. This is the gender equivalent of “reverse racism.”

You said, “It is not a MALE quality to believe your feelings shouldn’t be hurt. It is a HUMAN quality.” While it is true that it is a human desire not to be hurt emotionally or otherwise, based on what i’ve read and heard from womyn (and I believe them), womyn in this society are hurt in millions of subtle and not-so-subtle ways on a regular and a constant basis as a result of their gender. So while we all WANT not to be hurt, it is likely that only men FEEL ENTITLED not to be hurt. Hence your blindspot. Also, what I just said is prettymuch identical to what Robin said (“People with privilege are accustomed to being comfortable, and feel entitled to feel comfortable all the time.”) but I thought i’d give it another shot to break it down for you.

You siad, “If you really are oppressed, then how do you know what people of privilege feel?” Answer: by how we behave.

You said, “Any generalization that is made is discrimination based on stereotype.” This just isn’t true. Men, in fact, are all similar in at least one respect: we’ve been raised and socialized as male in a patriarchal society and as such have what is called Male Privilege. Womyn, conversely, are categorically similar in that they’ve likely been oppressed as womyn all their lives. It isn’t necessary to site the innumerable statistics on this one. Do your own googling.

Love,
Crescenzo

Do folks actually say Ed? Or do they say E.D.? The former seems so weird to me…

Is this an ongoing program? Meaning, does everyone start at different points so some people have been there longer than others?

Also, I think you basically said this, but the program is all women currently? Do they serve men with EDs?